life of an engineering student
Hey people, basically I’m sad no more! All my thanks and praises to Jesus! He made everything fall into its place in no time. I’m feeling better now, I feel happier and I’m getting to realise my worth. So, talking about engineering, yes – I’m a computer engineering student. So, I thought of sharing my life as an engineering student.. Basically in my university, if a girl is in the Faculty of engineering (FOE), people label them as nerds. haha. Although in some cases yes. But I’m not. I consider myself not. I hardly even study.
Life as an FOE student is tough sometimes. I remember the first lab I had (this is my first year, first semester of degree btw). There were wires, transistors, breadboard bla bla bla. I panicked. I had no idea what I was doing for the whole three hours of the lab. I’m not sure, but as an engineering student I feel we are always living in a blur situation. When we learn, the lecturer always focuses on the syllabus but does not explain why do we learn it and for what. For example, if the topic is ermm maybe about the binary number system. The lecturer only focuses on how to add, how to minus and stuffs. But I feel it would be better if the lecturer can first explain why do we use it? and why can’t we just use the normal number system?
Oh and yes, 90% of engineering students in my uni are boys. I still remember last semester I was the only girl in class. Wow, just imagine how it would have been. Somehow I got used to it. But trust me, boys are really intelligent (but some of them are lazy). They can teach you very well – one thing that I admire in them. And yes, talking about assignments, we have loads of them! Sometimes (most of the times), I have to stay awake all night just to finish it up. It goes the same for my finals too. It’s only when I study last minute, I can remember. :p
But, engineering is hard! My seniors always scare me. Half of the students in all classes usually fail and go under probation. And you know I have this character of mine which I hate the most – I love procrastinating! Procrastination + Studying engineering = DISASTER! I have to change. At times, being an engineering student (especially when you are a girl) is interesting cause people look up to you and say, “Woah, this girl has guts!”.
Image credits: Weheartit
I’m not okay
Yes, I’m not okay. I don’t know why. I get emotional all the time. And at the end of each day, I get emotionally tired. Recently (especially), I just feel that I’m not myself anymore. I feel stupid. I feel that I’m not good in anything. Above all, I feel lonely. I feel that all my friends are not there when I need them the most. Everyday, like out of a sudden, I’ll break into tears. I don’t like to be like this. You know I’m a person who can’t stand hunger even for an hour, but recently I can even go starving for a day. I hate being emotional about everything. It kills. I have so much inside of me that I’d like to tell out, I just can’t. Sometimes, I’m scared that I might be having some kinda sickness (like bipolar disorder or something). *sigh*
I’m not having self pity, but maybe I’m like this because I’m the only child in the family. See, I’m used to keeping everything to myself since I was a kid. And I can’t anymore. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to share my feelings with. I need a friend who is willing to listen. Ah, I don’t know. I’m just physically, mentally and EMOTIONALLY tired. I need help. Full stop.
Image Credits: Weheartit
#Sorry for posting emotional posts for the past week.
Feelings vs Reality
It’s hard when you like some guy, but you don’t have the courage to say it out. Like seriously. Maybe because I’m a girl. I don’t even have the courage to tell my best friend about it. I’m just scared she’ll judge me or something. Having said that, it is hard to keep it in my heart at the same time. I want someone who’ll be willing to hear whatever I have to say. I’m just afraid, there’ll be no one. The shortcut? I’ll just keep things to myself. I just don’t know. I’m confused. Is it wrong to like someone?
Image credits: Khanittha